Social Networking.

A few months ago, I discovered myspace.

Many other people have discovered it too. I believe it's now one of the most used websites on the internet, and it's phenomena of social networking is all the rage.

At first, I was enthralled. "Add friend. Accept invitation. New Comment "Lolz1!!!! P3te DuDE!!!"" It was like Shangri-La.

For about 5 minutes.

It was not long before it dawned on me what it really was. It was my real life on a computer screen, with stalkers and web cam whores to boot, both of which neutralise each other to leave me with just the real life.

The problem is, whereas in real life your forced to have meaningful conversations with people, to perform group activities and to get to know and appreciate each other, myspace is the perfect place for standard social conventions to break down.

Sounds good. Stick it to the man! Us nerds can chat freely, without fear being maced, cupped or being physically abused.

But before long, you realise the idiots have this power too.

Bulletins on myspace are the most obvious sign of this. The bulletin is the equivalent of standing in a crowded space full of people you know, screaming out to them all. Very useful when you need to say "Who want's to meet up tomorrow to go Ice Skating?"

However, it sucks when people instead start yelling "HEY ZOMG I FEEL SO TIRED- REPOST THIS MESSAGE NOW OR YOUR COCK WILL DROP OFF IN 36 HOURS AND BE AUCTIONED OFF TO NAZI MONKS WITH LASERS!!!!"

Unfortuneately, the second example has a tendancy to prevail over the first.

In real life, people with this type of verbal diarrhoea are usually avoided, or paired with silent people who will listen intently. Unfortuneately, this doesn't happen on the web, and instead it's far easier to just inflict yourself upon people, and call anyone who tries to silence you a killjoy.

What is worse though, is the emo scene invites.

Firstly, having [anyrandomoldshithere] or similar in your name sends out an instant message to me: Oh dear. You need to join a club to have friends.

Secondly, having several [JU/Ku/li]{II}(44ST} says your REALLY sad. It says myspace is your homepage. It says you slit wrists listening to fall out boy, but just slightly for looks. It says you get through partners daily, bitch frequently and think the most important thing in the universe is you, you and er... you. And the fact you suck, makes you cry.

But the worst is being bulletined for membership to these clubs for those who enjoy gay hair and gayer music (with all respect to the gay community, I just need an adjective here.)

I don't like your clubs. I don't like emoness. And unlike the masses, I won't persist. Time to cull my firend list.

Yes, for those of you who don't realise, myspace is not about having lots of friends. It's about having valued ones. And I'll happily cull my friend list to stop the rot, and keep the idiots at bay.

Chances are, you'll soon see how much nicer it is, and appreciate it is. Certainty is, the emo's will cry as they loose precious friends. And not tears to pose with to thier friends. Real tears.

I am such a Saddist :)