Al-Qaeda in Iraq has just offered a bounty for the murder of the Sweedish cartoonist who drew pictures of the Prophet Muhammed with a bomb on his head.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6996553.stm
I find this type of action absolutely hilarious. Has this guy been living in a cave? No, because he's not Bin Laden and not in Afghanistan, therefor he should have relised that these were printed 2 YEARS AGO. It's ancient, fucking history.
Terrorists are among the most fucktarded people ever. This goes across all groups, from all extremes for all causes. Terrorists really don't know what they're doing, and this is a wonderful example of just that. Furthermore, I love the whole cause and effect in this particular issue, proving the point.
September the 11th: Terrorists fly planes into buildings killing thousands.
Our response: We draw a cartoon satirising them.
Thier response: We must die for our opinion, belief and attempt at a little humour.
This is like the dumbest game of game of blow for blow ever (I am of course reffering here to the arm punching game, not any other type of "blowing" game) whereby they bomb us (seriously, get the "blow for blow" image out of your minds), we make a joke, we then get bombed back, or get bounties placed upon us.
This is what I call a disproportionate response. It's like saying good morning to the first person you meet, then getting offered use of thier body for the next 10 years.
It's not just limited to Al-Qaeda- for 2 reasons. First, any terrorist group is made of hotheads. People who are always convinced that they are right. This not only means that they are certainly wrong, but that any slight difference in opinion causes splinter groups and a disorganised network of thicko's who can't even mix up hydrogen peroxide and flour to make a simple bomb, as they're too busy with thier head stuck up some unexplored part of Abu Hamza's ass looking for non-exsistent virgins (giving the terrorist a much needed lobotomy from the hook screwed to the inside of his rectal cavity)
Second, terrorist groups are always extreme. Extremism is never the majority view or opinion by default, as that's not the way the reciprocal altruism of human conscience normally works. As such, you get lots of idiots who are loud with weapons dominating the kinder, more thoughtful, but ultimately spineless masses into submission. Another example are the cornish nationalist terrorists.
Now, apart from the hilarity of an Al-Qaeda style video in Cornish, ultimately, the idea of Cornwall wanting independence from England when it's been part of us for over 1 thousand years is ludicrous. There economy of tourism and packing holiday fudge (literally, not metaphorically) is all that keeps it alive, so destroying tourism and going back to farming turnips on godforsaken cliffs and mining tin under the ocean to scrape a peasents exsistence isn't smart. Further proof that the terrorists aren't either.
At the end of the day, global terrorism is less of a threat than we think. It will never have the strength to destroy rational masses. Particularly when attempted by an irrational minority.
All I can say is bring it cornwall. Your Jihad combine harvester doesn't scare me.
Saturday 15 September 2007
Thursday 6 September 2007
Democracy. Pfff.
I am an enemy of democracy, free world! That's right! I think democracy sucks ass, and is as flawed as a dictatorship if not moreso.
Before you call me a madman, lunatic or ignorant prick let me explain the illsuion that is freedom and choice, and why our democratic origins aren't as great as we think.
The reason I dislike democracy was first postulated by Socrates, back when Ancient Athens democracy was the first of it's kind. He came up with a very important thought, which pretty much pulls the floor from under the feet of our Western Democratic ideals.
Everyone's vote isn't equal.
Yep, sorry to you wishy washy idealists, it isn't. His point was thus:
1) Everyone has a right to vote. Theyr'e counted as equal.
2) Everyones reason for voting are different, and the strength of thier decision and the amount of thought they put into thier vote for the best purpose vary.
3) Therefor, those with consideration and thought are superior to those cast for the sake of it by inbred fucks in 4x4's.
It's simple, really. People who vote out of a genuine belief to get the best governement, can just as easily be canceled out by those who vote and just pick the name they like. Of course, this assumes there are more idiots than intelligencia. Look around you at society. Yes, are votes are squandered.
We shouldn't all have the right to vote on matters we don't understand. We shouldn't all be counted as equal. We shouldn't all be forced to vote.
Democracy has a strength, that it can block real idiocy. In theory. The weimar republic prooved that democracy can be just as dangerous as a dictatorship, if the circumstances are right. The problem there is as it is today. People are influenced by what theyr'e told, and if they are given enough carrot for too long, too frequently, they won't question it. Acceptance is the easy way.
However, that just makes democracy as bad as a non democracy. Dictatorships can work- monarchies occasionally made very wise, cunning decisions. They say power corrupts, but it can be used well by single leaders, and can function admirably.
The annoyance have with democracy, is that it underpins 21st century western civilisation as if it is the only successful form of government that can exsist, and the best possible that can be concieved. I find it amusing that a 2,500 year old idea from a bunch of crazy dead guys is our best, most inovative idea for government! If thought about, there are other alterantives that can be thrashed out.
For example, with a governemtn, you want a strong leader, who will seek to strengthen the weak points within a country, as well as lending out some help internationally. You want someone who is considerate, wise, smart, honest and charismatic. You will never get such a character through the democratic political system.
What is needed is a system that finds the infallible people, no matter how differeing thier opinions, and puts them in charge, with strong opposition among themselves, until the best wins. You need strong characters, yet those who can be swayed by reason. You need people who would always be willing to adhere to a framework for decision making, but always have the right intentions.
Could a form of Governement be created where people such as this are selected and trained? It would destroy our illusion of freedom, and that anyone can achieve anything. But according to Phyisists, our actions in the universe are pre-determined anyway, and no matter what we think, we can't change our fate.
So, may as well. Why put up a false, broken facade of freedom, in place of a working system?
Before you call me a madman, lunatic or ignorant prick let me explain the illsuion that is freedom and choice, and why our democratic origins aren't as great as we think.
The reason I dislike democracy was first postulated by Socrates, back when Ancient Athens democracy was the first of it's kind. He came up with a very important thought, which pretty much pulls the floor from under the feet of our Western Democratic ideals.
Everyone's vote isn't equal.
Yep, sorry to you wishy washy idealists, it isn't. His point was thus:
1) Everyone has a right to vote. Theyr'e counted as equal.
2) Everyones reason for voting are different, and the strength of thier decision and the amount of thought they put into thier vote for the best purpose vary.
3) Therefor, those with consideration and thought are superior to those cast for the sake of it by inbred fucks in 4x4's.
It's simple, really. People who vote out of a genuine belief to get the best governement, can just as easily be canceled out by those who vote and just pick the name they like. Of course, this assumes there are more idiots than intelligencia. Look around you at society. Yes, are votes are squandered.
We shouldn't all have the right to vote on matters we don't understand. We shouldn't all be counted as equal. We shouldn't all be forced to vote.
Democracy has a strength, that it can block real idiocy. In theory. The weimar republic prooved that democracy can be just as dangerous as a dictatorship, if the circumstances are right. The problem there is as it is today. People are influenced by what theyr'e told, and if they are given enough carrot for too long, too frequently, they won't question it. Acceptance is the easy way.
However, that just makes democracy as bad as a non democracy. Dictatorships can work- monarchies occasionally made very wise, cunning decisions. They say power corrupts, but it can be used well by single leaders, and can function admirably.
The annoyance have with democracy, is that it underpins 21st century western civilisation as if it is the only successful form of government that can exsist, and the best possible that can be concieved. I find it amusing that a 2,500 year old idea from a bunch of crazy dead guys is our best, most inovative idea for government! If thought about, there are other alterantives that can be thrashed out.
For example, with a governemtn, you want a strong leader, who will seek to strengthen the weak points within a country, as well as lending out some help internationally. You want someone who is considerate, wise, smart, honest and charismatic. You will never get such a character through the democratic political system.
What is needed is a system that finds the infallible people, no matter how differeing thier opinions, and puts them in charge, with strong opposition among themselves, until the best wins. You need strong characters, yet those who can be swayed by reason. You need people who would always be willing to adhere to a framework for decision making, but always have the right intentions.
Could a form of Governement be created where people such as this are selected and trained? It would destroy our illusion of freedom, and that anyone can achieve anything. But according to Phyisists, our actions in the universe are pre-determined anyway, and no matter what we think, we can't change our fate.
So, may as well. Why put up a false, broken facade of freedom, in place of a working system?
Monday 3 September 2007
ME Tarzan... YOU Parcelnet...
So it's come down to my favrouite game. Waiting for parcels to arrive from Amazon.
'Tis an experience that we all find stressful. Peering out of the window in pessimistic desperation for a man in a brightly coloured uniform to hand you your own cardboard boxed bundle of joy.
So, here are a few observations and tactics for the beleagured wait in, at the mercy of courier services.
Firstly, there are 3 types of couriers:
1) The Good- e.g. UPS
2) The Bad- e.g. DHL, Parcelnet, TNT etc.
3. The Ugly- e.g. The Post Office
In my experience 1) are fine. 3) are also fine but smell funny and may ask to shave your back. But, they'll get the parcel to you even if they do carry invisible sheep and fling thier own shit at each other in the back of the van.
Alas, it's type 2 that are the problem. Here are a few common problems they can give you, and here's how I go about solving them.
Problem 1: They think ringing the doorbell then running off Constitutes Delivery of a Package.
The solution for these cretins, including DHL and TNT, is simple. Build traps.
I find sharpening a tree trunk and attaching metal spikes, then latching it onto a spring based mechanism at around waist height usually works nicely. Yes, you bludgeon and pierce thier legs, and you better hope it rains to clean up the path, but you get a free van and uniform to boot!
Other traps can also be constructed, like a cage, gate or rabid dog (although extremely large, randy dogs are even more effective.)
Problem 2: They give one time of delivery, then seek to differ from this time frame as much as possible, so that they can just get everyone to collect from Depot.
Use security cameras, and afforementioned traps, but make sure you get footage of the cretins first and tell thier superiors.
And no, you don't know why they went missing soon afterwards.
Problem the third: They give you the wrong Parcel.
This is always a little subjective, depending on whether you've been given Lord Lucan grasping the Holy Grail instead of a Cd, or the other way round.
Generally, if you aren't happy, complain to the courier, threateningly. Lines such as "I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FUCKING ANKLES!!!" Generally tend to get attention. If not, then subtler lines such as "I have Spice Girl tickets for the front row, with your name on them..." ought to reduce them to mere shells of mortals.
Problem 4: you actually Rung Customer Service
Customer service employees are generally taken from eople such as myself. Bad idea to phone.
Of course, that's assuming your not chatting to people in Bangalore, in which case they'll try to help, but will be pretty useless through no fault of thier own.
Generally, tell all customer service to look out of the window. Say that the red car they see before them (There's always a red car, believe me. It's a fucking car park.) Will blow if you don't get answers.
You'd be so surprised at how little you'll be on hold after that.
Well, those are my courier tips. Ultimately, what are your experiences with the service above? Any more bad offenders to add?
Oh, and er... don't actually do anything bad. The above ISN'T REAL ADVICE. Don't say I didn't warn you!
'Tis an experience that we all find stressful. Peering out of the window in pessimistic desperation for a man in a brightly coloured uniform to hand you your own cardboard boxed bundle of joy.
So, here are a few observations and tactics for the beleagured wait in, at the mercy of courier services.
Firstly, there are 3 types of couriers:
1) The Good- e.g. UPS
2) The Bad- e.g. DHL, Parcelnet, TNT etc.
3. The Ugly- e.g. The Post Office
In my experience 1) are fine. 3) are also fine but smell funny and may ask to shave your back. But, they'll get the parcel to you even if they do carry invisible sheep and fling thier own shit at each other in the back of the van.
Alas, it's type 2 that are the problem. Here are a few common problems they can give you, and here's how I go about solving them.
Problem 1: They think ringing the doorbell then running off Constitutes Delivery of a Package.
The solution for these cretins, including DHL and TNT, is simple. Build traps.
I find sharpening a tree trunk and attaching metal spikes, then latching it onto a spring based mechanism at around waist height usually works nicely. Yes, you bludgeon and pierce thier legs, and you better hope it rains to clean up the path, but you get a free van and uniform to boot!
Other traps can also be constructed, like a cage, gate or rabid dog (although extremely large, randy dogs are even more effective.)
Problem 2: They give one time of delivery, then seek to differ from this time frame as much as possible, so that they can just get everyone to collect from Depot.
Use security cameras, and afforementioned traps, but make sure you get footage of the cretins first and tell thier superiors.
And no, you don't know why they went missing soon afterwards.
Problem the third: They give you the wrong Parcel.
This is always a little subjective, depending on whether you've been given Lord Lucan grasping the Holy Grail instead of a Cd, or the other way round.
Generally, if you aren't happy, complain to the courier, threateningly. Lines such as "I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FUCKING ANKLES!!!" Generally tend to get attention. If not, then subtler lines such as "I have Spice Girl tickets for the front row, with your name on them..." ought to reduce them to mere shells of mortals.
Problem 4: you actually Rung Customer Service
Customer service employees are generally taken from eople such as myself. Bad idea to phone.
Of course, that's assuming your not chatting to people in Bangalore, in which case they'll try to help, but will be pretty useless through no fault of thier own.
Generally, tell all customer service to look out of the window. Say that the red car they see before them (There's always a red car, believe me. It's a fucking car park.) Will blow if you don't get answers.
You'd be so surprised at how little you'll be on hold after that.
Well, those are my courier tips. Ultimately, what are your experiences with the service above? Any more bad offenders to add?
Oh, and er... don't actually do anything bad. The above ISN'T REAL ADVICE. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Sunday 2 September 2007
Ahhh...
I'm in the middle of a serial attack on the music industry, the this happens:
http://blog.kerrangawards.com/2007/08/best_album.html#more
Read the comments. Morons speak louder than I ever could :P
Sometimes the good gys can still win, in Metal at least.
Which is better than nothing.
Fuck the emos!
http://blog.kerrangawards.com/2007/08/best_album.html#more
Read the comments. Morons speak louder than I ever could :P
Sometimes the good gys can still win, in Metal at least.
Which is better than nothing.
Fuck the emos!
Welcome to Max
Welcome to the latest blog entrant max, whose track record blogging had produced more fame than that of either Deactacus or myself- but not for the right reasons!
Anyway, welcome to the team! once again we probably outnumber our readership!
Anyway, welcome to the team! once again we probably outnumber our readership!
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