Wednesday 2 January 2008

Examinations

Bored with chinese water torture, the rack, and Emmerdale, someone somewhere once invented written examinations. The pestilence of education. I imagine they were invented by a small, twisted, broken individual- hunchbacked from the superiors who had trodden all over him and attempted to make him spineless. As such, he responded by attacking the rest of the population with the torture he had suffered, by making them answer questions they already know the answers too frequently, with such crushing pressure as "GET THE ANSWER RIGHT NOW OR YOU DIE! YOU WILL BE BOILED ALIVE IN A LAGOON OF LIQUID TREACLE AND BOWEL OINTMENT WHILST WE SHAVE YOUR FAMILY PET AND REMOVE YOUR PARENTS EYEBALLS WITH CORKSCREWS BASTARD!"

I have exams. It shows.

But I honestly wonder how the people running examinations can't see thier futility and uselessness. Hmm, I know. Let's make everybody concentrate 97% of their resources on an extremely narrow spectrum of intelligence and knowledge so that we ensure everyone meets basic standards.

And of course, just over half of us allegedly get through these hoops.

I think those making these descisions need to meet thier own basic standards before coming up with the system of frequent examinations, the back-street aborted spawn of satan.

I am not amused.

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