Right, i've decided to form a collective Bible of hatred, anger and vicious seething loathing, with which I can attack all those who utterly piss me off and drive subliminal homicidal tendencies. And don't worry, this isn't all about politics ;)
The sad thing is though, it's about something just as bad. Brown nosing. The glorious act of sucking up insincerely to people, with gifts, praise and general loyalty. I always get frustrated because like most decent hard-working individuals- I am decent and hardworking, therefor do my job. I do it well, I get it all done and that's it. I'm nice, I'm friendly I do all you ask and if I want praise, promotion or raise, I let my competence and eptitude lead the way.
Only for some Kniving Shit with a box of Ferrero Roche to go and play smarmy.
The sad truth with brown nosing, is not only that it's incredibly annoying, but that people fall for it. Unfortuneately, we all do as humans- compliments are easy to fall for, especially if your a concerned person. Take me for example, my hair looks like that of a tramp who's been washing his locks in a mixture of cider and flower, and then gone for a centre parting for panache. I can't help but worry about how bad my hair is. But I over exaggerate it, and when people comment on it being cool, I go excessively happy- wildly joyous, like a Nazi with a camera outside a blazing Riechstag. I can't even feel irritated at those who fall for it, as I'm almost certain I must do. Else that or my worries of inferiority have caused an endemic mental paranoia causing me to think so. Which is just as bad!
So, here's a big fuck you to shallowness in the pursuit of cold-calculated progression at the expense of all human decency. Go and blast your tonsils out with shotguns, you festering fungal growths of the worst nature.
Oh, I'll finish this post later! Just managed to weasel £30!
Showing posts with label rantings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rantings. Show all posts
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Thursday, 20 December 2007
"Really, well I thought it worked on 9 levels..."
Recently, I have become increasingly disillusioned with the depth in which some things are analysed. This should come as no surprise to regular readers, who know by now I become increasingly disillusioned with everything. Constantly. One day I aim to reach a state of disillusionment where I transgress into another dimension which shall lead me to become a fat string-vest wearing man in a council flat with an obsession for brylcream and asprin.
Yet, political aspirations aside, I absolutely loathe the obsession some people have with finding obscurities in artistic works and claiming that they were not only intentional, but the main focus of the work.
Let me clarify a truth. The main theme, is the main focus. This is because they are both linked with the word "main." The idea that Mary Shelley's "Frankenstien" is a proto-feminist rant due to the face that she as an author was female is a big, fat, unadultered heap of horseshit.
There can be some hidden meanings. I do not argue that for a second. But does it ever occur to people that whilst you may be able to gather some evidence to support your claim, that because you are not the artist, nor do you look at the overhelmingly huge pile of evidence against you, that you might, just might, be FUCKING WRONG?
Yes, lets read into subtext. Stalin purged people because he liked courtroom dramas. Hitler killed 6 million Jewish people to be ironic on a grand scale, and Satan was cast out of heaven to show how the great inequalities in God's own creation in the transcendiant world exsist along side ours and to set the example for us to segregate good and evil, merely as a demonstration of his never ending agape towards us.
Problem is, some bastard can come and read this, my rant, and claim that I was suffering from anything from sexual repression to headlice due to the shaky spelling indicitve of frequent head movements. I AM NOT! I'M JUST TELLING PEOPLE TO SEE THINGS FOR WHAT THEY FUCKING ARE!
Any comments that don't involve the words "Meanings", "subtext", "nugget", or "perhaps what the artist meant to say..."?
Yet, political aspirations aside, I absolutely loathe the obsession some people have with finding obscurities in artistic works and claiming that they were not only intentional, but the main focus of the work.
Let me clarify a truth. The main theme, is the main focus. This is because they are both linked with the word "main." The idea that Mary Shelley's "Frankenstien" is a proto-feminist rant due to the face that she as an author was female is a big, fat, unadultered heap of horseshit.
There can be some hidden meanings. I do not argue that for a second. But does it ever occur to people that whilst you may be able to gather some evidence to support your claim, that because you are not the artist, nor do you look at the overhelmingly huge pile of evidence against you, that you might, just might, be FUCKING WRONG?
Yes, lets read into subtext. Stalin purged people because he liked courtroom dramas. Hitler killed 6 million Jewish people to be ironic on a grand scale, and Satan was cast out of heaven to show how the great inequalities in God's own creation in the transcendiant world exsist along side ours and to set the example for us to segregate good and evil, merely as a demonstration of his never ending agape towards us.
Problem is, some bastard can come and read this, my rant, and claim that I was suffering from anything from sexual repression to headlice due to the shaky spelling indicitve of frequent head movements. I AM NOT! I'M JUST TELLING PEOPLE TO SEE THINGS FOR WHAT THEY FUCKING ARE!
Any comments that don't involve the words "Meanings", "subtext", "nugget", or "perhaps what the artist meant to say..."?
Sunday, 9 December 2007
The Run up to Christmas...
...and the fun never ends.
People are shopping in Clarks and Waterstones,
Northern Rock customers will soon have no loans,
The pretentious upper classes offset thier carbon,
whilst I swear and curse, downing my bourbon.
Trees stand illuminated, glaring white,
council houses too, in the night,
And Nasa delays another shuttle mission,
as the sensors are broken, by thier own admission
A small child is missing from a portugese holiday,
thier parents use charity to make the mortgage repay,
Robert Mugabe runs a nation into the depths of turmoil,
we'll just ignore him, only take action for oil.
Gordon Brown think's he king and will run a new britain,
Crisis after crisis though, he's no longer so smitten
with a vain and romantic view of politics,
in reality run by a shower of dicks.
Dunno why I wrote a poem, but it pretty much sums up my mindset right now.
People are shopping in Clarks and Waterstones,
Northern Rock customers will soon have no loans,
The pretentious upper classes offset thier carbon,
whilst I swear and curse, downing my bourbon.
Trees stand illuminated, glaring white,
council houses too, in the night,
And Nasa delays another shuttle mission,
as the sensors are broken, by thier own admission
A small child is missing from a portugese holiday,
thier parents use charity to make the mortgage repay,
Robert Mugabe runs a nation into the depths of turmoil,
we'll just ignore him, only take action for oil.
Gordon Brown think's he king and will run a new britain,
Crisis after crisis though, he's no longer so smitten
with a vain and romantic view of politics,
in reality run by a shower of dicks.
Dunno why I wrote a poem, but it pretty much sums up my mindset right now.
Wednesday, 5 December 2007
Snack Sized Portions
Once upon a time, a bunch of not very bright people in a room had a meeting.
Hang on, let me rephrase that. All meetings are a bunch of not very bright people in a room. I need to specify.
Once upon a time, some morons who worked in catering for supermarkets had a meeting to design new cakes. They also decided to consider the size of such foods, in order to encourage beeter efficency, and eating habits.
So, these genii went and made "micro cakes", with the seeming intention of causing RSI in the motion of moving arm to cake box continuously to take lots of small cakes because THEY'RE TOO FUCKING SMALL FOR ONE TO SATISFY!
Now, normal cakes and mince pies or scone etc are fine. They have thier purpose. What I'm moaning about is cakes which are deliberately "mini" to sound "cute" when in fact it means you have more filling, less icing, more wasted packaging holding the space between cakes and I think they actually encourage worse eating habits. If I'm eating small cakes, it's harder to judge how much I've had than if I have a huge great big "fuck off" slab of cake in front of me (preferably with a little Nandos-esque flag sticking out of the top with "cake" written on it.) which is why I find the fiddly bastards so annoying! I want cake, not "micro cakes", which are just sold to stupid fat people who think they'll loose weight by eating more of something smaller!
I may be fat, but I ain't thick- unlike the layer of pastry on a mini- mince pie. WHERE'S THE FILLING? HELLO? ARE YOU THERE? No, because the laws of volume and surface area mean smaller pie= less filling, more pastry en masse. Which means your eating paper with the heaviness of butter and less rum soaked shrivelled fruit (get any images of alcoholics and prostitution out of your mind immediately) which is never a good thing (unless in the instance of the aforementioned image I just told to you get rid of.)
Alas, I doubt my message of sanity will get through, mainly as cake manufacturers will never read this, and my ramblings are always pointless and inconsequential.
I'll just have to add "Non-minicakes" to the wikipedia "Superfood" list :D
Hang on, let me rephrase that. All meetings are a bunch of not very bright people in a room. I need to specify.
Once upon a time, some morons who worked in catering for supermarkets had a meeting to design new cakes. They also decided to consider the size of such foods, in order to encourage beeter efficency, and eating habits.
So, these genii went and made "micro cakes", with the seeming intention of causing RSI in the motion of moving arm to cake box continuously to take lots of small cakes because THEY'RE TOO FUCKING SMALL FOR ONE TO SATISFY!
Now, normal cakes and mince pies or scone etc are fine. They have thier purpose. What I'm moaning about is cakes which are deliberately "mini" to sound "cute" when in fact it means you have more filling, less icing, more wasted packaging holding the space between cakes and I think they actually encourage worse eating habits. If I'm eating small cakes, it's harder to judge how much I've had than if I have a huge great big "fuck off" slab of cake in front of me (preferably with a little Nandos-esque flag sticking out of the top with "cake" written on it.) which is why I find the fiddly bastards so annoying! I want cake, not "micro cakes", which are just sold to stupid fat people who think they'll loose weight by eating more of something smaller!
I may be fat, but I ain't thick- unlike the layer of pastry on a mini- mince pie. WHERE'S THE FILLING? HELLO? ARE YOU THERE? No, because the laws of volume and surface area mean smaller pie= less filling, more pastry en masse. Which means your eating paper with the heaviness of butter and less rum soaked shrivelled fruit (get any images of alcoholics and prostitution out of your mind immediately) which is never a good thing (unless in the instance of the aforementioned image I just told to you get rid of.)
Alas, I doubt my message of sanity will get through, mainly as cake manufacturers will never read this, and my ramblings are always pointless and inconsequential.
I'll just have to add "Non-minicakes" to the wikipedia "Superfood" list :D
Friday, 16 November 2007
The EU and the UK- like the odd couple, but without any good dialogue.
The EU has been in the news a lot, what with the new treaties, calls for referendums and expansion on the forefront. What I hope to do here is engauge in a fireside chat with you the reader about Britain's role with Europe- and particularly why I think much of the fear about Europe is Bullshit.
Firstly, the EU treaty/constitution as it stands is being misinterpreted. It's one thing I actually agree with the current Government about- it's a necessary change, and it will not create a federalised European Superstate. The EU is too burecratically complex to lead to such a development- all this draft does is make some superficial changes to external representation of the EU (So that we have 1 representative figurehead, not 87) and ensures all member states are upto the same level in terms of basic rights (no prejudice, equal trade within Union and opportunities etc.) So that we all strive towards better economic unity- the EU'S FUNCTION!
Secondly, there was a dull, shite and altogether pointless speech made yesterday by either Milliband or Balls (they should really finish thier GCSE's before joining a cabinet) saying that they believe the EU must meet the promise of including Turkey and should seek to take in even Russia and north africa, to expand beyond Europe as a true Union for all nations.
I love this- it's the best way to fulfill the Eu's goals of creating a stronger market prescence for lots of tiny countries. It helps all the same, spreads the improvements around where needed, and seeks to benefit member nations- not directly, but on a structural, behind the scenes way.
Besides, i don't see why so many people hate Europe when all it seeks to do is streamline foriegn affairs locally.
It's better than New fucking labour.
Firstly, the EU treaty/constitution as it stands is being misinterpreted. It's one thing I actually agree with the current Government about- it's a necessary change, and it will not create a federalised European Superstate. The EU is too burecratically complex to lead to such a development- all this draft does is make some superficial changes to external representation of the EU (So that we have 1 representative figurehead, not 87) and ensures all member states are upto the same level in terms of basic rights (no prejudice, equal trade within Union and opportunities etc.) So that we all strive towards better economic unity- the EU'S FUNCTION!
Secondly, there was a dull, shite and altogether pointless speech made yesterday by either Milliband or Balls (they should really finish thier GCSE's before joining a cabinet) saying that they believe the EU must meet the promise of including Turkey and should seek to take in even Russia and north africa, to expand beyond Europe as a true Union for all nations.
I love this- it's the best way to fulfill the Eu's goals of creating a stronger market prescence for lots of tiny countries. It helps all the same, spreads the improvements around where needed, and seeks to benefit member nations- not directly, but on a structural, behind the scenes way.
Besides, i don't see why so many people hate Europe when all it seeks to do is streamline foriegn affairs locally.
It's better than New fucking labour.
Saturday, 10 November 2007
Subway Substandard
This week, I was banned from Subway in Harrow.
I kid you not. I committed an act so heinous that the only punishment fit for me was outright banning from my local branch of this purveyor of sandwich like edible comestibles.
Why? For using a voucher.
On Tuesday morning, I strolled into Subway looking to buy a bacon sub and coffee with a voucher, letting me have them for £1.50. The troglodyte working there had other ideas of course, as it would obviously nudge down his centralised sales record.
We had a conversation, it went something like this:
Me: Bacon Breakfast sub and coffee please.
Twat: Sure.
(Sub and coffe made, paying at counter.
Twat: That'll be £3.20.
Me: Ah, I have a voucher.
Twat: Nah, you bought the bacon lettuce and tomato, not the bacon breakfast sub.
Me: I asked for a bacon sub, which is on the breakfast menu, I have NO lettuce and tomato in my sub, ergo it is more similar to what I asked for than that which you are trying to convince me it in fact is!
Twat: But I ain't allowed to sell it you yeah, cos I have no eggs or sausages in today.
Me: (Pause. Stares at eggs and sausages.) Well, what are those then?
Twat: The last I have. Sorry, bro.
Me: Ok, nevermind, I'll just use this voucher and have a medium sub, lets see, a bacon breakfast sub, maybe?
Twat: (Realising it's better to just take the first voucher, angry) Sheesh! Fine, have your fucking cheap sub (I pay) Fuck you pal, your fucking banned, do you fucking hear me? Now leave!
Of course, by the time that last bit was yelled out I had indeed left, bemused at the attitude I got.
Subway definately ain't going on my Superfood reclassification campaign. I've been told I ought to appeal as this guy is nuts, but even if I was allowed in, he was such a dodgy individual that I don't trust him to make food for me. How do I know the mayonaise ain't from him, if you get my rather disgusting drift?
Although, as Subway were advertising for part time staff, I was tempted to apply, get the job, and see him ban his co-worker :D
Nevermind, I'm eating at Quiznos from now on :P
I kid you not. I committed an act so heinous that the only punishment fit for me was outright banning from my local branch of this purveyor of sandwich like edible comestibles.
Why? For using a voucher.
On Tuesday morning, I strolled into Subway looking to buy a bacon sub and coffee with a voucher, letting me have them for £1.50. The troglodyte working there had other ideas of course, as it would obviously nudge down his centralised sales record.
We had a conversation, it went something like this:
Me: Bacon Breakfast sub and coffee please.
Twat: Sure.
(Sub and coffe made, paying at counter.
Twat: That'll be £3.20.
Me: Ah, I have a voucher.
Twat: Nah, you bought the bacon lettuce and tomato, not the bacon breakfast sub.
Me: I asked for a bacon sub, which is on the breakfast menu, I have NO lettuce and tomato in my sub, ergo it is more similar to what I asked for than that which you are trying to convince me it in fact is!
Twat: But I ain't allowed to sell it you yeah, cos I have no eggs or sausages in today.
Me: (Pause. Stares at eggs and sausages.) Well, what are those then?
Twat: The last I have. Sorry, bro.
Me: Ok, nevermind, I'll just use this voucher and have a medium sub, lets see, a bacon breakfast sub, maybe?
Twat: (Realising it's better to just take the first voucher, angry) Sheesh! Fine, have your fucking cheap sub (I pay) Fuck you pal, your fucking banned, do you fucking hear me? Now leave!
Of course, by the time that last bit was yelled out I had indeed left, bemused at the attitude I got.
Subway definately ain't going on my Superfood reclassification campaign. I've been told I ought to appeal as this guy is nuts, but even if I was allowed in, he was such a dodgy individual that I don't trust him to make food for me. How do I know the mayonaise ain't from him, if you get my rather disgusting drift?
Although, as Subway were advertising for part time staff, I was tempted to apply, get the job, and see him ban his co-worker :D
Nevermind, I'm eating at Quiznos from now on :P
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